(русскую версию читайте в предыдущей публикации)

Yesterday at work, we were informed that the hospital was switching to a disaster mode. To be honest, of course, in the beginning this news simply overwhelmed me, I did not expect that everything was so serious, nevertheless, I did not feel fear, I simply felt ready. Why? I only now have understood what destiny means for me.

If at 25 it seemed to me that all my previous dreams were crushed, when I had to quit journalism after I ended up in America, then now, a quarter of a century later, I understand that it was necessary. I was destined to be in medicine from the very beginning. My favorite games during childhood were not so much playing “house”, but rather playing “doctors”. Back then, before AIDS, all syringes were made of glass and metal and were sterilized by boiling, and, respectively, they were discarded if glass cracked. Therefore, we, little girls, had ran sometimes under the windows of a village hospital, begging nurses for real discarded syringes. God! It was such a thrill – to hold a real syringe in my hands, which did not even seem to leak through those small cracks, and squirt a few drops of “medicine” out of it with a plunger just like real nurses did! To be honest, I still love syringes.

Nonetheless, towards the end of high school I dreamed of journalism and about its frightening, but alluring adventures, associated with this profession.  Although I was destined to be a nurse (as I understand it now), nevertheless, the universe allowed me to enjoy youthful dreams, which I achieved back then by just using my brains and efforts. I have studied to be a journalist at a university, where incidentally there was a military department, which means, respectively, the universe at the same time taught me the profession of a civil defense nurse.  So, it would seem that I got what I dreamed for, and even more so: during my students’ years having stumbled upon radio instead of newspaper business  along the way I discovered a love for   sound and the words spoken with emotions, and eventually I became a pretty popular young radio journalist in the Khabarovsk Territory.

 It was journalism that collided me, back then, with a young, charming American, with whom I moved to America after a couple of years. However, soon due to some dramatic circumstances and mistakes, I ended up being all alone with a baby in my arms. I had to start from scratch. I was placed in such difficult situation that journalism was no longer my priority. Instead I had to make other choices to survive. The situation was pathetic:  a single mother, a foreigner, on the street. Then the universe sent me through a really serious test: I had to study, overcoming hunger, lack of sleep, fear of the immigration authorities, and all this while studying in English with Russian-English dictionaries, thick books on medicine, and so on, during the 5 long, seemingly endless  years. The result of which was my second profession, registered nurse.

And now, when life seemed to be very comfortable, everything fell into place: the profession of a nurse within these 20 years has become for me not just a job, or means for survival, but it has become my second love, passion for life, and the meaning of existence. Over the past seven years, I have worked only part-time because I could afford it, enjoying the medicine, traveling around the world, sometimes participating in humanitarian medical missions as a volunteer nurse. And then boom! Corona virus!

It was like a revelation to me from above: the universe was preparing me for this big test. All previous challenges turned out to be just the foundation bricks of strengthening my spirit, my soul, so I could face these difficulties without fear. These challenges at this time were not created by me through mistakes, or by making some choices, but this time the universe sent these challenges to all of humanity. And my task is simple: I just need to do my job, to continue to be there, at the frontline, to help people. This is the meaning of my existence, for which the universe has been preparing me all my life.

 I feel very grateful to my friends and to my family for their heartfelt emotional support! This is not the end, I consider everything what is happening as just the next stage of this challenge. At least, I feel it and perceive it that way. For some reason, we need to live and survive through these challenges, I guess, they are necessary for our karmic purification. I feel that it will get worse before it gets better, but I know that it will definitely get better soon. To be honest, there is no fear I feel, I feel ready for this challenge. Just plunging in. It is what it is. Whatever the outcome in this case for my life will be, none of these outcomes will be a loss. There might be simply a transition to another reality.